I always have weakness to see what things that really matter in my life. Most of the time I am too busy with things that actually do not matter…so am I now able to see the things that really matter? Still not…I’ve got a big trouble to tell you! I am absolutely unwise…
This morning, I was mentioning one by one things that I thought would be matter for me….I started with… ”Hmm…study? Seems like, I am a student. By knowing more and searching more academically, hope in the future, I can find something that is not yet founded by other people. I will be making a record in Guinness Book of Record! That would be fantastic!” I said convincingly. “What else?” I continued, “Travelling, hmmm that’s great. It means I can learn the way other people live, I can enjoy my life, I won’t get bored with my life! Or at least, I can tell other people that I go travelling all over the world, isn’t it cool?” I said boastfully. “What else” I began being enthusiasm. “How about learning more and more languages, isn’t that cool? If I speak many languages, I can communicate with more people, understand their culture, I won’t have any problems talking with other people wherever I am going; or if not at least I can tell others that I speak 5 languages. I will attend many language courses then. I don’t care even though I have to spend much money for something that really matters for me!!” I was smiling. “What else?” I couldn’t stop thinking. “Hmm….career, yes that’s it! I will make more money! I am sure that really matters too. I can spend most of my time for my career…pursue it…Well, I don’t want to be left behind of my peers of course, come on!!” My smiling was even bigger this time. “Anything else?” “Well, I will go to a Guru who will teach me how to defend myself. Well, I am female. I am supposed to learn how to protect myself, aren’t I? Karate, yes Karate would be great!” “Are you sure it’s all?” I was asking myself for the last time. “Hmmm…I might need to give other people a bit of what I’ve earned. Or I should give all that I have? The preacher in my church told us so. Well, let me think this matter later”. “Perfect”, I screamed. But then I was reminded by these verses:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
I was rebuked. What I have mentioned is nothing? Oh No!! So what is the thing that really matters? LOVE? what is LOVE? I continued reading:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away….So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:4-13).
“Does that mean that I should pursue LOVE first? Or ONLY pursue LOVE?” See, I still cannot understand what the thing that really matters…”But how to love?” I was asking myself…”Am I able to love?”