Last 12 October 2008, something that I didn’t think would fell on me really happened. For almost 2 months since that time, I decided to be away from my habits including blogging. You might wonder why. I tried to make myself ease and learnt to get over a very sad loss of my father. Going through my email accounts was just to reply all the emails from friends saying that they also felt the sadness of my family. To be honest, I couldn’t express how grateful I was for their support and prayers.
People say ‘you won’t feel that you love someone or something until you lose it’. I just want to add to that statement, ‘you never know when that loss comes’. When you know that someone is very important for you and influences your life so much, admit it and don’t ever stop making him/her to be happy. I heard this notice many times, but never really realized the meaning until that loss fell on me. Knowing that my father went home to Father’s House, I couldn’t stop telling myself that I really lost him, need him, love him. But, I’ll never meet him until His Time comes one day.
One thing that I can’t accept is that I was not on my father’s side in his last breath. When I left my family a year ago, I never thought that my father would leave that soon. All in my mind is that everything would be going well with my family. But, the reality is not always like what we think and hope because it’s not our mind, but His mind, not our will, but His will. The only promise that comforts me and my family is that my father is now happy with Heavenly Father. He won’t feel hurts and pains anymore. He is happy, he is happy with Him.
One thing that convinces us that my father is now on Father’s side is that before my father was operated for the second time in a hospital, he told my mother that he wanted to go to the church, to sing a song with his choir group since he saw them calling him to come with. He also saw the altar. He asked my mother to put his cloths on and let him go to the altar. But my mother explained him that he was in the hospital, not in a church. Even in his last breath, my father put his faith in Him.
This loss also reminds me that nothing in this world is eternal. World is a temporary accommodation for those who have faith in Him. I remember the Priest’ speech clearly stated in a bible conference that all people are in a crematorium queue. The time will come for everybody to end his/her worldly life and be responsible to Him, The Most Just Judge. It brings hope for those who put their faith in Him, that the crematorium queue is not the end, but in fact, the beginning of New Life.