Just now I closed my eyes and rewound my mind back to my last weeks for 5 minutes after chatting with Jck in YM. I got lost quite far and didn’t know how to come back. It was definitely out of my consciousness! For couple of weeks I have put the focus of my mind on temporary things and forgot what the most important things. I often missed my conversation with Him, put aside books that I bought from the ‘Equip’ several months ago, forgot to change monthly prayer topics, irregularly read the scripture, prayed whatever came out of my mind without faith, listened to the spiritual music without reading the lyrics so that it passed without trace in my heart, rarely updated the weblog because of too many rubbish activities, and sort of things. O God, how far have I been lost? I don’t even know how to return.
By closing my eyes, I tried to flash back all my activities and decided what to do next. Not more than 5 minutes, I opened the new window of Ms. office and wrote down monthly prayer topics. After asking God to guide me, I began to pray, …”God, take me home”…. I took books that still looked new since I rarely read them, two of the three books I haven’t even touched, and put them beside me after reminding myself of the title, I even forgot the title!!
Then I wrote this blog…
I was getting far from Him since semester break started. I lost control over my time, money, mentality, spirituality,,,simply, I lost myself!! And the root of it all was unscheduled activities!! I let myself do what I wanted to do and think whatever I wanted to think out of control. If I had a good schedule of all activities, it should have not been like this. Aren’t the Christians also expected to be disciplined? Doesn’t The Lord said that “making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16)? “Self discipline is one of the key of successfulness in life”, I told myself.
God uses many ways to remind us from our mistakes, consciously or unconsciously. For my case this time, He uses Jck by using yahoo messenger. Thanks God for using Jck to be my ‘reminder’. Now, I more realise that how good the friendship in God is.