Agak getir juga sih waktu si mba-mba penjaga kos-kos an bilang supaya sabar dan tabah menghadapi anak-anak kos satu lantai. ‘Segalak apa sih mereka?’ aku bertanya dalam hati, ‘masa lebih galak dari aku orang batak asli?’ aku menyemangati diri, walau sejujurnya agak kuatir juga.

Selama dua hari aku pun menyelenggarakan pindahan dibantu oleh abang-abangku (bukan abang tukang bakso, red), selesai pukul 23.00. ‘Baiklah, besok adalah hari pertama pelajaran kesabaran’, bisikku dalam hati, ‘lumayan, pelajaran gratis’, kutambahkan lagi.

Kebetulan malam itu aku susah tidur, udah bolak balik, menguap berkali-kali, ngintipin facebook orang (ups, ketauan deh!), tapi sang mata ini tak kunjung menutupkan kelopaknya. Daripada menyiksa diri untuk memaksa tidur, aku pun ambil buku harian dan curhat (orang batak, yang konon katanya galak, bisa curhat juga loh bok! Jangan salah!). Tiba-tiba, inspirasi mengenai pelajaran kesabaran terhadap anak-anak kos pun muncul. Ada 3 alternatif yang terlintas di pikiranku waktu itu:

• Alternatif pertama: aku baikin mereka. Segalak-galaknya orang, kalo dibaikin masa sih tetap galak? Jadi, mulai besok aku akan menyapa setiap anak kos yang berpapasan. Mungkin mereka ga segalak yang si mba-mba kos pikir. Masa kalo aku ga salah apa-apa digalakin, aku sih berharap mereka masih waras.
• Alternatif kedua: kalo mereka galak aku balik galakin mereka juga, wong sama-sama bayar ini. Jadi, mulai besok aku pasang tampang batak ku yang galak itu (dari sononya udah tampang galak kalee, hehe)
• Alternatif ketiga: cuek aja, anggap setiap omelan atau galak nya mereka bagai bunyi kentut orang di Oz * orang aussie kalo kentut kan dicuekin, hihihi*. Biarin aja mereka capek sendiri. Talk to the hand!

Kemudian aku mikir konsekuensi setiap alternatif. Kalau aku lakuin alternatif pertama, which is aku baikin, ada kemungkinan mereka ga galak lagi. Jadi aku pun bisa hidup dan tinggal seatap dengan mereka dengan nyaman, alias mengalah untuk menang. Kalau aku pilih alternatif 2 alias galakin mereka balik, memang sih naluri batakku terlatih dan mungkin kekesalan terpuaskan, tapi mungkin ga kan tahan lama-lama tinggal di kos dengan situasi yang kurang enak begitu. Kalau alternaif 3 alias aku cuek aja, sebenarnya gapapa sih, tapi sampai kapan aku cuek, secara galak-galak gini aku perasa loh *aw!*. Akhirnya aku memilih alternatif 1.

Keesokan harinya, terjadilah seperti yang diceritakan si mba-mba kos. Ketika aku mandi *sebagai informasi, kamar mandi dipakai bersama-sama*, seorang anak kos gedor-gedor pintu, ‘masih lama ya mba?’ ‘Lha, aku baru masuk udah ditanya ‘masih lama’, padahal kan ada 2 kamar mandi lain yang bisa dipakai’, omelku dalam hati. ‘Ga kok mba, 5 menit lagi’, jawabku dengan bersahabat. Aku pun buru-buru mandinya. ‘Sori mba, lama ya, biasalah pagi-pagi gini satu paket hehe’, kataku ketika berpapasan dengan dia. ‘Iya, maaf ya mba saya ganggu’, sambil tersenyum dan sedikit terlihat merasa bersalah dia pun berjalan menuju kamar mandi.

Sekitar 5 menit yang lalu, ketika aku jemur handuk sehabis mandi, aku berpapasan dengan salah seorang anak kos lain dan mengajaknya berkenalan, akhirnya kami pun ngobrol dengan hangatnya lebih dari setengah jam, sampai-sampai salah seorang anak kos lain, yang sehari sebelumnya aku ajak berkenalan, keluar kamarnya dan ikut nimbrung sebentar. Kami pun berpisah dengan senyuman yang indah.

Sesampainya di kamar, aku berniat menuliskan pengalaman itu, seperti yang anda baca sekarang. Aku berharap aku bisa hidup harmonis dengan mereka, secara sehariannya udah capek bok di kantor, masa balik kos akan serasa di neraka juga…tul ga?

Tau ga temans, hal-hal ini yang aku pelajari dan masih akan terus ku pelajari (susah bok belajar mengalah!)

• Terkadang mengalah itu penting untuk menang. Mengalah bukan berarti kalah.
• Terkadang inisiatif untuk berteman dengan orang lain harus lahir dari niat dalam diri kita, tanpa menunggu inisiatif mereka. Ga usah nuntut mereka untuk memperlakukanmu begini atau begitu, lakukanlah terlebih dahulu apa yang kamu ingin orang lain lakukan terhadapmu, bukan begitu temans?
• Jangan langsung berfikir negatif. Berfikirlah positif. Terkadang berfikir positif itu penting karena dapat membuat kita lebih kuat menghadapi banyak hal.
• Terkadang melihat hal-hal baik dalam diri orang lain itu lebih berguna dan lebih membahagiakan bagi kita.

Aku memakai kata ‘terkadang’ karena mungkin setiap pendekatan tergantung pada kasusnya.

Terlepas dari perlu tidaknya membuat resolusi, resolusi dalam hal ‘pekerjaan’ menjadi salah satu, kalo bukan satu-satunya, fokus utama resolusi (tolong koreksi jika aku salah), khusunya bagi para pekerja. Hal itu menunjukkan bahwa pekerjaan menjadi sangat penting bagi kebanyakan orang. Kesuksesan di tempat kerja berupa karir yang meningkat dan pendapatan yang bertambah menjadi hal utama yang ditekankan.

Tidak terkecuali bagi orang-orang Kristen, resolusi mengenai pekerjaan, atau lebih tepatnya kesuksesan di tempat kerja, merupakan sesuatu yang penting (bahkan bagi beberapa orang sangat penting). Posting an ini akan mencoba untuk mengupas secara singkat aspek-aspek terkait pekerjaan, yang mudah-mudahan bisa menjadi pertimbangan anda dalam membuat resolusi..:)

Apakah bekerja itu suatu keharusan?

Tuhan memerintahkan manusia untuk bekerja, menaklukkan bumi dan segala isinya. Kita juga diminta untuk bekerja dan tidak malas, sehingga kita dapat berbuat baik dan berbagi dengan orang lain (Efesus 4:28). Bekerja adalah penting, bahkan harus. Orang yang bekerja, biarlah dia makan, sedangkan jika tidak mau bekerja janganlah dia makan (2 Tesalonika 3:10). Tuhan juga bekerja, mulai dari menciptakan bumi dengan segala isinya, hingga sekarang masih terus bekerja untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi umatNya (Roma 8:28).

Jenis pekerjaan apa yang seharusnya dikerjakan?

Alkitab tidaklah menyebutkan mana jenis-jenis pekerjaan yang lebih baik untuk digeluti orang Kristen dan mana yang tidak baik, kecuali jika pekerjaan itu secara nature nya menyebabkan kita jatuh ke dalam dosa, seperti pembunuh bayaran, mencuri, dan lain-lain. Pencuri dan pembunuh misalnya merupakan pekerjaan yang secara terang-terangan dilarang dalam Alkitab. Mencuri, dalam hal ini, perlu dicermati lebih jauh. Banyak pekerjaan yang tampaknya tidak mencuri, tetapi dalam prakteknya tidak beda dengan mencuri.

Apa pekerjaanmu tidaklah masalah, namun apakah pekerjaanmu membuatmu jatuh ke dalam dosa itu yang masalah. Selain itu, satu jenis pekerjaan tidak lebih penting bagi Tuhan dibandingkan pekerjaan lainnya, selama keduanya tidak membuat kita jatuh ke dalam dosa. Anda mau jadi guru, mau jadi pengacara, mau jadi pengusaha, mau jadi auditor, mau jadi pendeta, mau jadi agen asuransi, mau jadi pegawai negeri sipil, mau jadi akuntan, mau jadi kontraktor, sama saja. Yang membedakannya adalah apakah pekerjaanmu itu membuatmu jauh dari Tuhan dan jatuh ke dalam dosa atau tidak.

Apa tujuan bekerja?

Hal yang selalu dilupakan kebanyakan orang Kristen adalah bahwa bekerja itu bukanlah hasil akhir. Tuhan mengijinkan dan memberi kesempatan orang Kristen bekerja bukan demi pekerjaan itu sendiri, tetapi ada tujuan dibalik pekerjaan itu. Masalahnya sekarang apakah tujuan orang bekerja? Banyak orang bekerja bertujuan untuk menghasilkan uang untuk bisa makan, untuk bisa beli baju, untuk bisa beli rumah, untuk bisa menyekolahkan anak, untuk bisa mempunyai investasi masa depan, untuk bisa bayar asuransi kesehatan, dan (mungkin) untuk bisa menaikkan status sosial. Orang-orang juga bekerja untuk bisa mengaktualisasi diri, untuk bisa diterima orang banyak, dan lain-lain. Sekarang, apakah hal-hal diatas sebenarnya adalah tujuan bekerja?

Ijinkah saya untuk mengutarakan pendapat saya (silahkan dikoreksi jika anda tidak setuju). Menghasilkan uang, meningkatkan status sosial, dan mengaktualisasi diri, pada dasarnya bukanlah tujuan dari bekerja. Hal-hal itu adalah manfaat bekerja. Dengan bekerja secara otomatis kita memperoleh uang yang dapat dipergunakan untuk keperluan dan untuk berbagi dengan orang lain; dan dengan bekerja pula seseorang dapat mengaktualisasi diri sesuai bakat yang dimiliki. Tetapi hal-hal itu bukanlah tujuan dari bekerja. Tujuan bekerja bagi orang-orang Kristen, menurut saya, adalah untuk membawa kemuliaan bagi Tuhan, untuk menikmati dan menyenangkan Dia, sebagai proses untuk semakin mengenal dan serupa dengan Dia.

Jika tujuan bekerja hanya untuk menghasilkan uang, berarti tidak salah jika kita menghalalkan segala cara di pekerjaan kita untuk memperoleh uang. Jika tujuan bekerja adalah untuk mengaktualisasikan diri, berarti kita bisa melakukan pekerjaan apapun yang sesuai kemauan dan kehendak kita, tak peduli apakah pekerjaan itu membuat kita jatuh ke dalam dosa. Jika tujuan bekerja adalah untuk mencari ketenaran, kita bisa bekerja dengan curang untuk mengalahkan rival kita sehingga kita satu-satunya yang tenar.

Oleh karena itulah tujuan bekerja bagi orang Kristen bukanlah untuk menghasilkan uang, bukan untuk mengaktualisasi diri atau mencari ketenaran. Tujuan bekerja adalah lebih mulia dari itu, yaitu untuk bisa melatih dan membuat kita semakin serupa dengan Dia, Sang Pencipta, dan untuk memuliakan dia melalui pekerjaan.

Bekerja itu tidak berat jika sesuai dengan passion kita?

Banyak orang berpendapat bahwa jika suatu pekerjaan sesuai dengan passion mereka maka bekerja itu menjadi asik dan tidak memberatkan; mereka akan menikmati setiap saat dalam bekerja karena mereka senang melakukannya. Dengan dasar itu, banyak orang terus menerus mencari apa yang menjadi passion mereka dan menghubungkannya dengan pekerjaan yang akan mereka geluti. Tanpa berusaha untuk tidak sependapat, aku hanya berfikir, bukankah semua pekerjaan itu memang berat, atau katakanlah menjadi membosankan dalam kurun waktu yang lama? Koreksi jika aku salah, bahkan bekerja merupakan salah satu kutukan kepada Adam, bahwa dia akan bersusah payah untuk mencari makanannya. Karena itu, bekerja tidak pernah secara nature nya menyenangkan.

Orang mengatakan, pekerjaan itu menyenangkan jika kondisi hati kita terlatih untuk menyenangi pekerjaan kita. Jadi, pekerjaan itu adalah objek, sementara kita adalah subjek, bukan sebaliknya. Selain itu, keinginan dan perasaan hati orang berubah-ubah, kesenangan kita saat ini bisa jadi tidak menjadi kesenangan kita beberapa waktu kemudian. Jadi bekerja, walaupun pada waktu tertentu menyenangkan, bisa tidak menyenangkan lagi pada kondisi/waktu lainnya.

Sebenarnya, apakah pekerjaan kita sesuai dengan passion kita bukanlah isu penting, menurut saya. Tetapi, apa passion kita? Apa tujuan kita bekerja? Itu yang menjadi isu utama. Mengenai hal ini kita sudah bahas di paragraph sebelumnya. Dengan demikian, seperti kata orang, berusahalah untuk menyenangi pekerjaanmu, dan jangan mengharapkan pekerjaan membuatmu senang.

Akhir kata, sebagai orang Kristen, hal yang perlu untuk kita ingat selalu adalah: bos kita sebenar-benarnya adalah Dia, Pencipta kita. Namun, walaupun dia Bos sebenarnya, Dia menyuruh kita untuk tunduk kepada bos-bos kita di dunia selama perintah bos-bos itu tidak bertentangan dengan keinginan Bos…:) Selamat Bekerja giat di tahun yang baru untuk kemuliaan Tuhan.

Peribahasa ini mungkin tidak jauh beda dengan ‘kueh udah menjadi terlalu bantat’! Kalau tidak salah sih artinya: udah ga bisa diapa-apain, kalo pun diapa-apain bakalan makin runyam, makin kacau.

Aku masih ingat waktu SD, lupa kelas berapa, tapi yang pasti, waktu-waktu itu adalah awal-awal mamak mengajari aku masak nasi. Karna aku masuk sekolahnya siang hari, aku lah kebagian masak nasi. Dulu masak nasi bukan pake rice cooker, maklumlah orang kampung dulu mana kenal rice cooker, masaknya pake periuk, orang batak bilangnya ‘hudon’ (bukan ‘udon’ lo, hehe). Sebelum berangkat ngajar, mamak berpesan tentang prosedur masak nasi di periuk berikut komposisi antara air dan beras. Secara aku masih amatiran banget waktu itu soal masak memasak nasi, atau mungkin kurang perhatian sama arahan mamak, nasi ku pun alhasil menjadi bubur.

Masak pake periuk memang membutuhkan sedikit ketelatenan dan keahlian kalo bisa dibilang begitu, jadi jam terbang menjadi sangat berpengaruh. Komposisi air dan beras harus pas, itupun tergantung jenis berasnya. Ada beras yang cepat menyerap air ada yang ga, jadi komposisi ini agak susah dipastikan. Pas tidaknya ukuran air dapat dilihat pada saat nasi mendidih, orang batak bilangnya ‘saat gurgur’. Kalo saat gurgur airnya masih terlihat banyak, biasanya si pemasak akan mengurangi air, sambil sering-sering ngaduk. Nah, aku ga tau pasti salahnya dimana nasiku kok bisa jadi bubur, bisa salahnya di awal karena airnya terlalu banyak, bisa juga karna setelah mendidih aku ga kurangin air dan ga sering-sering ngaduk. Simpelnya, nasiku jadi bubur!

Sambil sedikit panik, aku mencari cara gimana biar memperbaiki kesalahan itu. Kalo bisa buburnya berubah lagi jadi nasi. Aku mikir, ‘apa aku tambah beras aja? Aduuhhh gimana nih, mamak bisa-bisa marah, rintihku dalam hati’. Pikiran yang masih polos itu mencari-cari cara seraya berkata, ‘pasti masih ada harapan, aku harus berbuat sesuatu’. Dalam situasi beras yang sudah mendidih dan airnya belum habis, dengan cepat aku tambahkan beras lagi, ‘mungkin akan lebih baik’ pikirku. Dan seperti yang sudah dapat diperkirakan, hasilnya makin hancur. Periukku berisi bubur dan nasi yang belum matang, tercampur rata tak karuan. Aku memandangi periuk itu sambil menangis, ‘sudah ga bisa diapa-apain lagi’, tinggal nasibku di tangan mamak menerima omelan dan mungkin hukuman karna ceroboh dan ga bisa dibilangin.

Entahlah apa arti nagisku waktu itu, campur aduk antara menyesal karna kurang perhatian sama arahan mamak, lebih menyesal lagi karna nasinya makin kacau dan ga bisa dimakan-yang seharusnya dibiarin aja setidaknya masih bisa dimakan walaupun dalam keadaan bubur, dan terkahir takut sama omelan mamak. Kecewa, sedih, merasa bersalah, padu jadi satu. Belum lagi aku harus kalang kabut beres-beres untuk berangkat ke sekolah. Menangis menimbulkan kekuatan, tapi juga kelemahan kalo terlalu banyak. Bisa sakit! Walaupun kegagalan itu mungkin ukurannya kecil, tapi sangat menyedihkan dan mengecewakan.

Dan tau ga teman-teman, waktu aku beritahu mamak, dengan aura baik hati dan bijaksana, beliau membelai rambutku (o Tuhan kuingat sekali momen itu), sambil berkata ‘gapapa boru, lain kali kau pasti bisa masak nasi lebih baik’. Mendengar itu, seluruh kekecewaan, ketakutan, dan penyesalan hilang menjadi rasa syukur dan tekad ‘aku harus bisa lain kali’.

Kegagalan susah sekali dihindari, lumrah walaupun tidak bisa dibenarkan, mengingat manusia sangat sangat sangat tidak sempurna. Ada kegagalan/kesalahan yang bisa diperbaiki, betul, tapi ada juga yang sebaiknya dibiarkan saja, bukan berarti tidak diperdulikan, karena jika dikasi tindakan malah kondisinya akan makin kacau. Sebagai manusia, khususnya sebagai cewek yang mewarisi sifat ompung Hawa yang susah diam dan doyan bertindak sesuatu tanpa pikir panjang (bagian ini diabaikan saja karna kurang alkitabiah, hehe…cuman mau cari orang yang bisa disalahkan, bahkan ompung Hawa sekalipun!), kesalahan yang harusnya didiamkan untuk seketika waktu suka diungkit dan dicari jalan keluarnya. Alhasil, bukan jalan keluar yang terbaik yang menjadi hasilnya, malah sebaliknya.

Jadi apa yang bisa diperlajari (terkhusus mau ngomong sama diri sendiri nih):

1. Ketika kita melakukan kesalahan, jangan terus menerus menyalahkan diri sendiri, jangan pula menyalahkan orang lain. Terima saja kesalahan itu, seraya berkata pada diri sendiri untuk tidak mengulangi kesalahan yang sama.

2. Meminta maaf jika ada pihak yang dirugikan. Minta maaf ini sebaiknya dilakukan secara langsung, karena dengan perantaraan akan menyebabkan banyak distorsi. Meminta maaf ini bukan hal yang mudah pulak, karna membutuhkan kerendahan hati dan ketulusan.

3. Bertindak untuk memperbaiki keadaan. Langkah ini aga sedikit beresiko dan membutuhkan ‘seni’ karena ada kesalahan yang perlu kita diamkan dulu untuk sesaat seraya mencari angin segar. Selang waktu ini dapat dipergunakan untuk berfikir sebelum mengambil tindakan selanjutnya, jika diperlukan. Untuk orang-orang kurang sabar seperti aku ini, langkah ini membutuhkan perhatian khusus.

4. Berdamai dengan diri sendiri dan move on. Kembali lagi langkah ini bukanlah hal mudah, ada kecenderungan (bisa dibilang greget) untuk bisa mengulang lagi dari awal, meng-undo. Tapi itu mustahil, sudah terjadi, yang bisa dilakukan hanya langkah adaptasi. Bagi beberapa orang, proses ini bisa memakan waktu yang lama, tapi untuk beberapa orang bisa dalam sekejap, sangat tergantung kepribadian dan kebolehan beradaptasi. Minta pertolongan teman sangat disarankan di tahap ini, tapi sekali lagi, teman yang cukup bijaksana dan menyayagi kita.

Mungkin ada tips-tips lain dari teman-teman, silahkan menambahkan…:)

I remember someone asking me a couple of weeks ago whether I have best friends. “Yes of course I do” I replied confidently, “Everybody has best friends. They might be best friends from childhood or in adulthood”, I continued. “Why did you ask that?” I asked her back. “No, I just wondered; many times I got disappointed by people who I called best friends”, said her sadly.

Each of us has criteria to call people our best friends. You might agree with me if I say that general view tells us that best friends are those who know you quite well, acknowledge your weaknesses but still stick around, those who support and cheer you up in your cloudy situation, those who listen and care for your troubles, those who pray for your good, those who rebuke you in your sinfulness and motivate you to fix the wrong that you did, those who realise that you are not a perfect person and keep helping you to be a better person, those who laugh with you in your good times and cry with you in your sorrow, and so on and so on.

Having said these all criteria, we then say that how good it is to have best friends, but at the same time, how difficult to be a best friend! Becoming a best friend is not an easy task, but if we are, it’s a blessing, a privilege.

A glimpse of self-orientation

Are best friends always good friends and good friends always best friends? From their meaning, ‘best’ is superlative of ‘good’, which means ‘best’ has higher quality than ‘good’. I might have many good friends but don’t have many best friends. To call people our best friends or good friends very much depends on us determining whether people we regard as our best friends or only good friends. It’s so subjective or even sometimes self-orienting! We call people as our best friends when they are performing according to our criteria. If we don’t like them that much we will only categorise them as good friends, but if we like them we change their status to be our best friends.

This mindset has strong correlation with disappointment. I might not too wrong to say that we tend to be more easily to get disappointed with our best friends rather than with our good friends. Why? Because we put too much expectation on people we regard as best friends (with or without their knowingness). By regarding people as our best friends, much likely we expect them to perform as what we listed on criteria. That is why when things go wrong and it involves our best friends, we get disappointed more than if the party involving is ‘just’ friend.

 A gracious mindset, ‘to be’ rather than ‘to have’

I am not saying that we should not regard or categorise certain people as our best friends, nor limit ourselves to have only ordinary friends. It’s very good to have best friends particularly for those who feel more comfortable talking to and sharing with certain people. Besides, it’s most likely to have deeper emotion towards certain people having the same circumstances and experience. This process will lead to become best friend. However, we need to realise that people are not perfect; they are human with their own weaknesses just like us who can fail to be a good friend. In our sinfulness, we have many limitations to keep loving to others, to keep good and gracious to them, to always pray for their good. Only the grace of God can enable us.

So, correct me if I’m wrong, the mindset of becoming a good/best friend to others is much nobler than the mindset of demanding for having good friends of our own. I want to say it again, pursuing to be a good friend is a worthy effort, regardless of our own interest to have good/best friends, or to demand people we call best friends to be like this and like that, as becoming a best friend is voluntary and unconditional.

I always have the best of best friends

His love is steadfast, His eyes keep on me, His will is my perfection and good, and His blood is shed for me. I call Him my best of best friend, and only by His grace He will also regard me as His best friend.

Godang do perubahan na huida jala huhilala di parpestaan paskah sahali i. hugoari majo da sadasada. Parjolo, parmingguon di manogot hot do dipatupa, jumolo ma parmingguon singkola minggu, dungi parmingguon naposo bulung, baru pe muse parminggon ni angka namagodang manang namatua. Paduahon, dung sidung angka parmingguon i, di pungkul 2 arian adong ma muse parminggon, digoari mai ‘jalan salib’. On dope huihuthon acara i, alai ninna inong nunga papiga halihon parmingguon ‘jalan salib’ i.

Patoluhon, dung sidung parmingguon manogot, hirahira pungkul 12 tu pungkul 1 arian, manjonohi parmingguon arian, ima ‘jalan salib’ i, adong do dipatupa fragmen tarsingot tu hamamate ni Tuhan Jesus. Angka singkola minggu dohot remaja ma napatupahon fragmen i. Uli situtu do poang! Suman hian tu karakter dohot pahean nasida, alai memang ndang marsuara, ndang adong dialog, holan lakon dohot gerakan do. Gabe hera na adong do nian na hurang, alai nungga sungkup mantap bei!

Mangihut ma muse tu fragmen i, dimulai ma parmingguon ‘jalan salib’. Mansai uli situtu do parmingguon arian i, hira na mansaritahon songon dia ma panobuson ni Jesus di hau pinorsilang alani pangalaho ni jolma manisia i. Uluan ni huria manjahahon sarita panobusan huhut ma diholangholangi ende na mambaen maliklik ateate. Maliklik alani jorbut ni pangalahonta jolma on alai alani holong tong do ditobus Jesus i. Gabe dosa Jesus i alani dosanta.

Di pungkul 3 pas, di parmingguon i dope, mangkuling ma giringgiring, jala ndang saotik sian angka parminggu i na tumatangis. Marmansam angka alasan ni angka ilu di tingki i, sadeba ma ra i namanolsoli angka pangalo nasida naso suman, sadeba ma ra i ala mangingot hamamate ni nahinaholongan ni roha nasida be. Manang aha pe alasan ni tangis i, sandok tung mariluilu do godangan angka parminggu i.

Mulak ma au dohot inong tu huta dung sidung acara parmingguon sadari manipat i. godang ma nian siingotan. Godang do hami marsarita tong dohot inong di holangholang ni parminggun manogot dohot arian. Sarita nami ditorushon ma muse dung sahat di huta. Huhut marsarita, huhut muse ma hami mangalompa manuk gota, hehe…Ndang godang memang dilompa hami, Alana holan hami padua do di jabu, jala tondong pe torop so piga do, holan parhuta do naro, ipe holan marsijalangan jalan markombur satongkin.

‘Ndang taretong au basabasa ni Tuhan tu au daba’ ninna inong di tingki maridi hami. Senyum ma au mangalusi alana nunga huboto dompak ni sarita ni inong i. Sai jotjot do dipajojor inong angka denggan basa ni Tuhan di keluarga nami molo tingki marsaritasarita hami. Godang angka halongangan memang ulaon di Tuhan di hami. PangiringiringNa, pasupasuNa, jalan habasaronNa tung so tarpajojor do. Ibanna daba sai ditonahon inonghu do tu hami ‘Jesus bahen hamu dongan muna. Burjuburju hamu. Aha naung dijanjihon ni Tuhan i di ngolu muna, pasautonNa doi sahat tu ujungna, jadi ndang pola mabiar hamu.’ Hata-hata on ma muse na hubege sian inong di parningotan ni ari Hamamate dohot ari Paskah sahali i.

Memang Godang do na boi mangaluahon rohanta sian Jesus i, ima angka parsatongkinan i, manang boi do i muse haporsuhon di portibion. Alai hamamate dohot haheheon ni Jesus i mangingothon hita di balga ni holong i, burju ni Jesus i, jala uli ni panobusonNa i.

Di sogot ni ari, rap dohot angka parhuta manang godangan halak na laho tu kuburan. Laho ma au dohot inong marbabo kuburan ni ompung. Nangpe nungga disimin kuburani, sai godang do tong tubu angka duhutduhut. Nidok ni roha nian dohot do tu kuburan i bapa nahinan molo di huta, alai nang mungkin, gabe halak abang ma nalaho tusi. Nian ndang ingkon laho tu kuburan, holan parningotan do i di hamamate dohot dikubur ni Jesus di hatiha i. Toho do Jesus mate, ditanom, alai hehe ma muse Ibana di ari patoluhon.

Sidung dua ari dua borngin di huta, tibu di manongot ni ari sogot nai, borhat ma au mulak tu pangarantoan. Marpaskah di dalan nama au, ndang sanga be marminggu dohot inong. Alai godang do huboan mulak di hatiha i. Mulak ma au dohot las ni roha!

Flying back to Jakarta a week ago from NL after 11 weeks away left me to feel two contrary emotions: glad and sad. Glad because I was imagining my big family, particularly nieces and nephews, hugging and welcoming me back; mum encouraging me with her loving and motivating words almost every day (through phone); friends who really cheer me up; and officemates who spend much time working together with me. On the other hand, sad because I had to say goodbye to friends who cared for, encouraged, and gave me so much joy and laugh; also my room which invisibly recorded all my activities doing unimportant things such as laughing in front of facebook till getting distressful because of heap reading materials! All these were flashing over my mind within 16 hours before the wheels of the plane touched the ground of Jakarta. “This journey is great but too short”, I whispered.

To be honest, this journey started with only one aim: being away from routine activities, particularly work. There was too much pressure in my head for 11 months before departing, making me physically and mentally weak. I thanked God that within 11 weeks I felt so much joy and love of God through people around me, through fellowships in which I was reminded about many things, through environment I could enjoy, through places I visited providing me so much experience, and through reading materials enabling me to switch off my mind from things unpleasing (even though sometime made me more distressful!). All these blessings strengthened me a lot.

Now, what did I learn in 11 weeks? Please don’t ask me about the course (land administration systems), even though this course gave me so much knowledge (people might say)..:). I hope will write about that in other posts. Allow me, this time, to share with you some precious points I learned (and still learning) and valued the most:

1. There were always helpful people around me. How grateful I was when I needed something, someone/some people unexpectedly offered help. This happened many times during 11 weeks of time, including when friends offered me and a friend of mine help on the first day we arrived and got no idea about the new place, when strangers gave information for me and some friends who lost direction in a train station (the announcement in Dutch), when a friend rang me in a morning when I wrongly read the schedule and was almost late going to uni, when a friend offered me help to understand out of head course materials, when friends helped me drag my luggage to the train station on the day I was leaving, and many more grateful moments. Lesson learned: how grateful other people must be when I do the same thing to them.

2. Too busy with my own interests and activities many times pulled me from other beautiful experiences. My apologise to say that the uni in which I was studying put the students into too big room for their own academic study, and less room for giving attention on other people’s interests, even God’s interests. Lot of assignments and work demanded lot of students’ time, so that less time left exploring and experiencing other beautiful moments, even exploring Holland itself. I hope this feeling and thought are only mine..:) As a short course student, I easily took myself out of this trap and started experiencing other precious moments. Lesson learned: I need to make lists of values I want to experience and explore from a place, then start doing as planned.

3. Being part of a community is very helpful. In a new place, in which I spent 11 weeks, being involved in a community provided me lot of help and comfort, as I was far from families who were always there for me. Church community was the first place I went, as I was sure I would feel so much comfort in it. Realising that, I went to church and being part of them, also other communities in which I could cherish and make friends. We can find communities in which we feel belonged to and convenient, to be encouraged, and to encourage. However, in many cases, to find these communities needs first effort from us, it might need us to get out of our comfort zone because we should not expect other people to draw near to us, but instead, we ourselves should be the ones who go near to them first. Lesson learned: find new communities in new places, and be the one who is proactive rather than reactive.

4. There were always cases of disappointment or displeasing moments/things. I thanked God that He gave me opportunity to experience those which finally made my life colorful if not tasty!:P Living with other people with different background, interest, and concern, might make us face things unpleasant. That’s normal! If things are always going well, life won’t be that beautiful, and we won’t learn to be more mature in matters of behavior and character. However, focusing my mind on this disappointment will not open a room for me to gain more. Lesson learned: be constructive in managing conflict with other people, and be the one who is the first showing love to them. This is hard, but doable…:P

I realise that many more valuable points I got from that short journey. I might add these points later. But for this time, hope these I experienced and learned (and will always learn) give you some ideas in how to gain more in the place where you are living at the moment.

Do you realise that words coming out of our ‘small part of the body located on the face, just below the nose’ (you must know what I mean), are very powerful to destroy or to build up? The bible makes it clearer and precise, even not referring to ‘that part of the body’, but to ‘something inside it’ – “tongue”.

Unintentional mistakes

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6)

“But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)

These verses sounded in my mind for the past couple of days!

For those of you who are just like me, love talking, like making other people laugh, saying something without thinking what the effects behind it, do you realise that those make us suffered so much? We ended up realising that the word coming out of our mouth is just too much, hurting people maybe, or make them uncomfortable, annoyed, and so on, even though we really didn’t mean it (God knows!).

Apologising is the first and the most important thing to do

Even though this seems simple, but it’s very difficult to implement. This needs humility and humble heart. Realising that we are the ones who are guilty is very important so that we can expect and anticipate the worst response from those whom we (unintentionally) hurt/annoyed.

The first apologise should come to God, as He’s hurt the most. Even though He is hurt the most, He is the most loving to us. He is forgiving and ready to help to change the bad to be the good. And the good news is that He is always ready to help us to repent, He is too kind!

The second step is to apologise to those annoyed/hurt. Direct apologising is always the best, it makes everything clear. Most of the cases, direct apologising leads to a better situation. But the problem is the chance to do that is not always there. Sometimes, we don’t even know how to start as he/she is already too annoyed and decided to stay away from us. Alright, what I learnt was that I came to God and asked Him to make him/her realise that I felt guilty and really wanted to apologise and make everything clear. Then I also ask God to show him/her that I really didn’t mean it. If there is at last a chance, I will make things clear.

The third party not only can make things better but also worse

For those who are annoyed and those who make people annoyed, telling other people what we are feeling seems like a remedy. Particularly if those whom we are talking to are listening to us, standing with us, empathising us, and so on. Well, that’s good. I did that many times. Things can be better, but also can be getting undone. We need to talk to other people for sure, that’s why God created us as social creatures. That’s the purpose of the body of Christ. We need each other. But let me remind you that all people are sinful and imperfect. Leaning on only to the opinion, responses, and comments from other people without asking for God Himself to give guidance to us is really unhelpful. Yes, we need to share with other people, but God is the only One who knows what’s really happening.

Now, to those who are feeling guilty

You might already apologise and feel regretful, but seems you are not able to return things back like what it was…this is what I learnt, I am not perfect, I can always be wrong, but God is there, he knows everything, His love will overcome the bad with the good. All I need just to come to His feet and repent.

Personal words…

To all my friends, through this writing, I really want to humbly deliver all my regrets and apologise for all the mistakes and hurting words I’ve ever made. I am really sorry and I really didn’t mean those, God is the witness…

Around 14.00, after completing my ‘things to buy’ list, I headed off to Centrum to buy things, as I planned to do some cookings for the New Year Celebration. Just like tradition in my family, in every New Year Celebration there will be special dishes. So, even though I am away from family, this kind of cooking appetite is still there!

In that foggy afternoon, I managed to go and buy things. It was so slippery outside…Having been entering some shops and being sure that I got all the stuff as listed, I returned back and started cooking. I cooked beef rendang (curry), chicken ala Enta (actually no name for this dish..:)), and veggies. I cooked quite much even though I wasn’t inviting friends, as I said, that was only because of my New-Year-cooking-appetite.

At 16.00 NL time, meaning that it was already 22.00 in Indonesia (Indonesia is 6 hours ahead of Netherland), while I was cooking, I called my mum, also brothers and sisters in Indonesia. They were preparing for the family New Year celebration. As this is my first New Year celebration far away from family, there was a weird if not homesick feeling. I wished I could be with them.

There is a tradition in my family that in New Year, all the family members will gather together, singing and praying started from the youngest to the oldest, ended up with the prayer of my bapak (=father, RIP). After that Christian agenda, there will be another agenda where each will deliver complaints and thankfulness about others, started from the youngest to the oldest. This time, because I am away, I lost my right to deliver my complaints…:D

Spending around three hours cooking I realised that I needed partners to finish the dishes. As most of the flat mates were going out for New Year celebration, I decided to invite two friends who I was sure were still in the flat; Amani from Sudan and Jackson from Zambia. Amani prepared eggs and bread in addition to my cookings. We then were having nice dinner and chats.

Our chat started from courses in campus to rice production and weather issue. We talked about rice because the context was eating, while discussion about weather was suitable with the current uncertainty of weather in NL. In Sudan, rice is mostly imported, weather is hot (40-50 degrees Celsius in summer and 20-30 in winter); in Zambia, rice is imported and domestically produced and weather is not as hot as in Sudan; while in Indonesia rice is plentifully produced, but is not well-managed so that imported rice is also high which strikes if not kills domestic farmers.

Finished with dinner, Amani helped me out doing some cleaning in the kitchen, and after that returned back again to my room. Itunes in my laptop was still singing. This time, song of Jane Saunders ‘He leadeth me’ from ‘In His Hands’ Album. Gratitude to God again sounded in my heart. Now, reflection time!

Outside, people were busy with their firecrackers, making lot of noise, even though it wasn’t the time yet. New Year is identical with firecrackers, fireworks, and colorfully decorated carton trumpet. On the other hand, some people might choose to be busy with their wishes list, resolution, and planning to be pursued and completed in the year to come. I myself celebrated it alone in my room. I chose to do that. This sounds so sad, doesn’t it? But to tell you, it wasn’t that bad. It was a perfect time to look back and look forward. This might be the first and hopefully the last–alone-new-year-celebration..:)

Herewith I am writing down things that I’ve learned in 2010 and will continue to learn in 2011. But I am afraid that only some will be shared with you.

1. Managing to do the right thing. Doing the right thing is always followed by tough struggles and battles (putting things right side up on the upside down world needs lot of effort). Perseverance in Him is the key for this. Finding communities that can build up and pray for each other is another important thing.
2. Idealising and idolising things/people other than God is leading to destruction and disappointment, as nothing/nobody is perfect, but God alone.
3. Living in regrets means no gain. Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.
4. Never diminishing the quality and quantity time with Him. Relationship with others will be strengthened when the relationship with Him is kept and nourished. The better knowledge of Him is also a tool towards having good relationship with Him. How do I know Him better? By searching of what He’s saying through His word.
5. Contentment is the answer for the question of greed. How to pursue contentment? By understanding the meaning and goal of your life from His perspective.
6. Pursuing self-achievement/pride than encouraging others towards His likeness is nothing but rubbish!
7. No place is as comfortable as in His presence.

While I was doing some writings, fireworks outside distracted me. I was in a rush going outside and seeing awesome fireworks all around Enschede for almost an hour or so. Yes, this is New Year, Year 2011! Goodbye 2010, welcome 2011!

We managed to wake up early in the morning and caught a train going to that city. The train seemed specially provided for that market as its route showed Enschede-Munster. It took around an hour time from Enschede to the heart of Munster shopping center and around 15 minutes to get to the Kerst Market from the Munster train station.

The market itself was a usual open market selling handmade Christmas merchandise and gifts, winter fashion and accessories, foods, and other souvenirs. Not until half an hour searching and observing around, I and Mbak Fitri decided to stop focusing on the Kerst Market and Christmas merchandise, and start walking around the city to find out other interesting things of that place. That city was quite big with its astonishing old buildings, some of which were Cathedral church and dorm buildings. I am not sure whether these buildings are still used for mass (Sunday service) or only as memorable buildings.

It is very interesting to read the history of this city from Wikipedia. It says that the word ‘Munster’ was derived from the word ‘the monastery (“monasterium”)’ which was built by a missionary ‘Frisian Liudger’ between 793 and 797 AD. Many events and incidents happened in this city back in the mid 1500 until 1940s, started from the battle against Anabaptist rebellion during the Protestant Reformation in 1500s to the World War II in 1940s.  That is why when you visit this city you will see the combination of church buildings, marketplace, library, and school.

Walking along the road, if you start from the Cathedral, on your left hand side, you’ll get to see the elite shopping center in which you will find worldly known branded fashion and things. It you follow the road till the end and turn left (not so sure exactly its position), you’ll see a path leading you to an isolated area in which you’ll see the crucifixion statue of Jesus Christ. From that statue, you will find a door taking you inside a huge building called ‘the Hoher Dom St. Paulus’ where you will find many people looking around, praying, taking some rest, or joining tour. I and Mbak Fitri also did some observation and took some pictures.

That Hoher Dom St. Paulus building was huge, with some detail crafts and statues on some of its walls. One of the interesting statues was a statue of Jesus hanging above the altar as if showing that ‘Jesus died for you’. Behind the altar you can see some rooms for ritual if not remembrance for significant persons of that church. In every corner you’ll see burning candles and some people standing by with their prayers (perhaps). I myself was looking around while keeping on thinking ‘this building must be an amazing building in the past in which many people were coming and worshipping Christ. But now, it is like a museum that keeps if not hides lot of history’. But then I was reminded that it’s not a matter of the building; Christ is living in the heart of His people.

Finished with the Dom, we then observed outside the building leading us to a place in which Christmas Carols was sung. There were around 15 men wearing Santa’s clothes singing Christmas songs. Some songs sounded familiar to me and some not. I remember doing similar Christmas caroling with church friends in a children hospital. It was so blessed to see how these children were cheered up by the songs and how their faces were full of happiness receiving our gifts. Christmas is indeed time to celebrate Jesus’ come as flesh.

Done with the carols, we got to see some other interesting things and decided to end the walk with having coffee and little bit of chats before then returning back to Enschede.

Not until 2 weeks, Dela left Enschede because her mother was sick and taken to the hospital. Dela decided to terminate (temporarily?) the course because of that incident. Here I am surviving alone in the new environment, fortunately there are other Indonesian friends who I’m convinced will be good friends.

Two things that challenged me so much for the first two weeks were that I had to adjust with extremely cold weather and out-of-my-head-course materials; not yet mentioned other things also demanding adjustment like food, classmates, lecturers, life rhythm, time for shopping, daylights, etc. I thanked God that I didn’t get too exhausted with all that adjustment.

Concerning weather, it’s really cold but still manageable. I wear double warm cloths and cheap warm boots to protect me from the cold. Gloves and hats are other things useful. Heathers in every room are also helpful; the problems are only outside the buildings. This makes people reluctant to do activities outdoor.

About course material which is the hardest part for me to be dealt with, I managed to do more exercises, but it’s still ‘out of head’! Programming language is just too difficult as I don’t have any relevant background. Fortunately this programming thing is only part of the whole course if not small part. That’s relieving…

About excitement, yes definitely there was that feeling; new situation, new friends, new place always take us to that kind of feeling, but to be honest, it wasn’t as strong as I expected…

Friends, as I mentioned, are lots! They’re nice and helpful. Several days ago we had an event called Indonesian day in which I met many more Indo students and had good chats and sharing with them.

About life rhythm, even though I like this slow rhythm of life, I still need to adjust. Unlike Jakarta in which people look so hectic and always in a rush, here I found the life rhythm I always look for. Life is not only for work or study, but also for leisure activities.

Regarding classmates, I was a bit surprised and excited at the same time that most of my classmates are from developing countries, particularly from Africa. If in Sydney (UNSW), I have many friends from Asia and local people (Aussies), and in Jakarta most of friends are Indonesians, here, I’m having friends from Africa, isn’t it exciting? Having friends from all around the world is just so exciting!

About Christian fellowship, I feel like home as I have many friends in church both Indo friends and non Indo friends. Sharing the good works of God in life with other Christians is always encouraging. I hope in the coming weeks I will be attending a bible study community in church.

About food, it needs not so much adjustment as I can find Asian groceries and restaurants easily.

That’s all I can share with you this time…:)